Boo! Hahaha, I had enjoyable trying by way of my CT scan photographs and took this screenshot as a result of it appeared fairly creepy (these eyeballs!).
I understand how uncool it was to put up about my biopsy after which take two weeks to share the outcomes! I felt just like the outcomes took ceaselessly. For the reason that biopsy was on Friday, I hoped the outcomes can be obtainable on Monday; Tuesday on the newest. Normally, labs and assessments are uploaded to my chart on-line inside 24 hours or so.
By Wednesday, I nonetheless did not have the outcomes. I known as the ENT doc who’d ordered the biopsy and was instructed that the physician needed to go over them in individual. And that he was going to be out for per week, so the earliest obtainable appointment can be on the twenty second! Listening to that, after all, I ready myself for unhealthy information.
In the meantime, I had been leaping by way of all of the hoops to get an appointment on the College of Michigan medical middle, which could be very tough to get into; it is an enormous instructing hospital. (The lady from scheduling that I spoke with even had my biopsy outcomes however wasn’t allowed to provide them to me.) I requested my major care physician to fax my referral and data (I used to be shocked that folks nonetheless fax issues…) and she or he did it instantly. Then I needed to watch for the scheduler to name me to set the appointment with the ENT (otolaryngology; «ear/nostril/throat») division. I lastly received an appointment for the twenty fourth (yesterday).
I used to be nonetheless ready on take a look at outcomes, and I simply could not wait anymore. I do not know why I did not ask within the first place, however I contacted my major care doc once more and requested if she had the outcomes and was she capable of add them. Inside an hour, they have been in my chart. (My physician is the BEST at doing all the pieces shortly.)
Anyway, the end result was that my mass is benign! Which is clearly nice information. Nonetheless, nonetheless, this mass is inflicting me numerous discomfort–especially after the biopsy. The biopsy made my signs a lot worse and I have been tremendous irritable. I continually really feel like my shirt is choking me, however once I attain to drag the collar from my neck, it isn’t there–it’s simply this mass that’s inflicting the strangling feeling.
The CT that was taken within the emergency room the day of my biopsy confirmed that the mass had elevated by a few centimeter (it was about 5.5 and now it is about 6.5 cm–that’s *very* massive). Since I had the appointment at U of M, I had entry to their affected person portal. My CT scan was in there, and I used to be completely fascinated trying by way of the photographs. It is like watching a video touring by way of your physique, one aircraft at a time, and there are photographs from a number of directions–traveling from the entrance of my face to the again of my head, and from both sides touring by way of to the opposite facet, and even beginning at my lungs, shifting as much as the highest of my head. You may see all the pieces in 3D.)
Primarily based on the physician’s notes and the photographs, it confirmed that my trachea and esophagus have been being pushed to the facet because of the mass urgent in opposition to them–this is why I’ve issue swallowing and what’s inflicting the strangling feeling. It is pushing my carotid artery towards my again. It is even touching my backbone, and goes down previous my clavicle (collar bone). Needles to say, it is very massive. I knew it might want to come back out, however I hoped that I may save my proper thyroid so as to *attempt to* keep away from needing hormone alternative medicine for the remainder of my life.
*I should want it, it can depend upon my thyroid operate after surgical procedure*
Right here is a picture that exhibits from the entrance to the back–the pink line is my airway, which ought to be straight up and down. And the blue circles the mass itself.
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| CT of thyroid mass, circled in blue |
My appointment at U of M yesterday didn’t begin out properly. I do know most individuals will assume that is shallow, however I’ve written earlier than about how I’m having such a tough time with displaying indicators of getting older. You might bear in mind when, in 2018(?), Jerry and I went to the lab for him to have his blood drawn and I used to be with him. I sat down within the ready room and he went as much as the counter to examine in. The lady there noticed his license/birthdate and exclaimed how younger he appeared and mentioned these phrases which nonetheless hang-out me: «I believed that was your mom with you!»
Up till that second, I by no means considered myself as trying previous. However that triggered one thing inside me that made me discover all the pieces about myself that’s displaying indicators of getting older. Do I actually appear to be I might be 60-ish+ years previous?! Even when Jerry appeared MUCH younger–let’s say 30 (he is 44)–that would imply I would must look roughly 50 (right this moment I turned 43). I began to really feel extraordinarily self-conscious of my age at that time, despite the fact that I by no means cared in any respect earlier than. Is not it silly how one single remark from somebody has the facility to do this? Most individuals would in all probability snort about it, but it surely had the other impact on me.
Anyway, again to my appointment yesterday. The medical assistant introduced us again to weigh me and get my blood strain. He requested me, «Is that this your son with you?»
My face received actually scorching and my ears instantly began ringing. I used to be so flustered I could not even reply him, and Jerry, realizing I used to be crushed, helped alleviate the awkwardness I felt by making a joke in regards to the fountain of youth or one thing. The medical assistant requested for my birthday and once I instructed him, he mentioned, «Glad early birthday!». I mentioned, in what I hoped got here off as nonchalant, «Thanks, however I am immediately feeling very previous». I type of needed to trace to him that as an alternative of asking if it was my son, simply ask who’s with me right this moment or one thing like that.
I believed he would apologize, however he did not catch on. I can bear in mind being (comparatively) younger and by no means understanding why age was such a sensitive topic for ladies. Once I labored at Curves in my 20’s, a lot of the girls have been within the 40 to 60-ish age vary and continuously talked about aging–I simply did not get it. I by no means thought I might care about getting older! And I actually would not thoughts it, if I believed I appeared my age–43–but 60+?! That is laborious to swallow. (Fairly actually proper now, haha). When it was only one one who talked about it, it might be written off as a one-off unintentionally impolite remark; however when two folks say it, properly…
Okay, sufficient of that. I used to be pleasantly stunned on the minimal wait time, which was superior. The ENT physician was extremely beneficial by my cousin, who’s a nurse practitioner there, and she or he was all the pieces I hoped. She was extraordinarily pleasant and affected person, taking the time to reply my questions and clarify all the pieces very well. An anesthesiology med scholar was along with her and he was simply as nice.
They needed to scope my throat, which wasn’t enjoyable (on the earlier ENT doc’s workplace, they did it as properly). They put a protracted, skinny, versatile tube with a digital camera on one finish, by way of my nostril and down my throat to have a look at my vocal cords. It actually looks like a COVID take a look at, solely like pushing the swab all over to stab your mind. Then it felt like I had a capsule caught in my throat. However my vocal cords aren’t broken; the change in my voice is probably going as a result of my trachea (airway) is being pushed apart by the mass on my thyroid. (My voice has gotten type of raspy and it is a pressure to speak.)
They agreed that the mass ought to come out, and the physician defined the surgical procedure to me. It is beneath common anesthesia, which is extra difficult than the IV sedation I had lately for my tooth extraction, however I have been beneath 3 times before–for my two jaw restore surgical procedures and for my pores and skin elimination surgery–so I am not too apprehensive about it. The scariest half is that they will be working in a really vital space of my body–around my airway, my esophagus, my carotid arteries, jugular veins, and vocal cords–and there are dangers with that. However the ENT physician is the one who can be performing the surgical procedure and I really feel very assured in her.
Once I was tremendous nervous in regards to the common anesthesia earlier than getting my jaw restore, my surgeon (who was an ENT doc) instructed me this: For those who’re apprehensive about your airway throughout surgical procedure, the perfect crew you may have with you is an ENT crew. In order that’s comforting! Haha.
The surgical procedure sounds very straight-forward and I will be allowed to go away the identical day (she mentioned three hours or so). For per week post-op, I have to relaxation, not elevate something over 10 kilos, eat gentle meals for a few days, and that is about it. There may be numerous follow-up lab work to see if my thyroid hormones tank. They’re utterly regular proper now, so I hope my proper thyroid will do exactly wonderful when the left is gone. The ENT doc mentioned that it occurs in about half of sufferers with this process.
Now, I simply have to attend for a name from the scheduler to get a date for surgical procedure. The physician mentioned that since it isn’t most cancers, I haven’t got to do it proper away–just every time it is handy for me–but I’ll take the primary obtainable date. My signs are driving me loopy, particularly since my biopsy.
Haha! Talking of, after my biopsy I used to be instructed that I «might need a small bruise that ought to go away by itself in a few days». It’s now 15 days later, and that is what it appears like:
Other than the bruise, although, the lump could be very noticeable in my neck. It wasn’t like this earlier than the biopsy. This mass grew SO shortly. I observed someday within the summer–I feel August–that my neck appeared a bit larger in entrance. I forgot about it once I received COVID, after which the headache that lasted two months, and the method that led to my tooth extraction.
It was nonetheless barely noticeable in December, however now there is no such thing as a manner you may miss it. I am apprehensive it’s going to proceed to develop at this fee. I am thrilled that it isn’t most cancers, despite the fact that I knew I would be having surgical procedure both manner, but it surely’s so uncomfortable–I am unable to watch for it to be gone!
